Arizona Homes for Sale

Divorce


 

              

Divorce can be painful, emotional and financially draining for everyone involved.  Feel free to click on the links below to learn more about the process and how you may be affected.

Planning Children
Emotional Aspects AZ Divorce Law
Financial Considerations Surviving a Divorce
Real Estate and Divorce Arizona Divorce

 

 

 

Planning for Divorce

If you are considering a divorce, spend some time considering all the factors involved:

  • What is driving you to consider divorce?  Is it something that could be discussed and worked out with your spouse?  Would counseling help? 
  • Are children involved?   What arrangements will be made for them?  Where will they live, what support arrangements will be possible?  How will you explain your decision to divorce? 
  • Take a serious look at your financial situation.  How will you live after your divorce?  What assets do you and your spouse have that will need to be divided?  What debts do you have that you may be responsible for after your divorce?  Will you (or your spouse) ask for spousal maintenance?  Child support?
  • Keep in mind that everything will NOT go your way - think carefully about what you will do if the situation does not turn out the way you expect.
  • Do you have a support network to help you through the process?  

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Dealing with the Emotions of Divorce

Whether you decided to divorce or the decision was made by your spouse, you will both experience strong emotions - and often, perspective is lost.  It is easy to focus on your emotions, to blame the other person, and to look only at what you are going through.  This is a time when it is critical to stay focused on the reality of the situation and try to consider things objectively.

Here are some resources that can help you gain perspective;

Emotions and Divorce - For Women Emotions and Divorce - For Men
The Emotional Roller Coaster Taming the Anger
Support Groups Emotional Stages of Divorce
Dealing With the Pain  
                   
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Dealing with Finances Through Divorce

   
Effect on Credit Rating Division of a Retirement Account
Negotiating  
   
         

Excessive spending is very common before, during and after a separation. Before breaking up, a couple may buy a new home or remodel their old one, buy a car, take a long vacation, have a baby - anything to bring them together. This is not usually consciously planned, it just works that way. During separation, spending is used as an anesthetic for emotional pain. After separation, the couple genuinely needs a lot of money to set up two separate households, added to which is neurotic spending driven by emotional upset.

Being aware of this trap may be of some help, but it is often difficult to see or control your own eccentricities. Control impulsive and compulsive buying the same way you would control neurotic eating habits. The best thing is to do things to make yourself as open, centered and strong as possible. Deal directly with your emotional issues instead of reacting and running from them.

Money-hiding is not common but it is not rare, either. Sometimes, when it becomes clear that a divorce is coming, one spouse or the other will start salting money away in a private money stash. If this is done without cheating the community, it is actually a good idea because it gives that spouse a sense of security, independence and control. However, if marital assets that belong to both spouses are being secretly diverted into a separate account, this is a clear case of cheating.

In moderate amounts, it may not be worth fighting over, but it is something to watch out for, keep track of, and include in any future accounting. In extreme cases, you will want an attorney to take emergency measures to protect the marital estate and your interest in it.

Sometimes, the money manager will spend joint savings or take out a loan for living expenses while putting regular income into a separate account. A family business can be manipulated or run into the ground so income appears low later. Or bonuses and commissions can be postponed until after separation. The list is almost endless.

If a divorce is coming, take a careful look at plans to refinance your house or other kind of loan. Watch where income goes and watch your savings account withdrawals. After separation, take a close look at financial transactions during the previous year.

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Real Estate and Divorce


Most people's single largest asset is their home.  It may also be one of the most contentious elements of a divorce.  There are many factors to consider when contemplating what to do with your homes during a divorce:

  • Can you afford to stay in your home?  Consider all the aspects, including the mortgage, utility bills, homeowner's insurance, annual property taxes, cost of upkeep and repairs, etc.  Don't overlook the fact that your financial situation will be different.
  • If you decide to keep your home, remember that you and your spouse most likely  signed the mortgage together. It may be advantageous for you to re-finance in your name only.
  • Make sure before you commit to keeping the house that all associated bills can be changed to your name (utilities, insurance, etc.).
  •  Before you decide, consider that housing costs will increase over time.  Can you afford to pay more than you do now?
  • If you choose to stay in your home, how will you pay your spouse for their share of the asset?  How will you determine its value?
  • Don't overlook the emotional consequences - how difficult will it be for you to live with the memories of your marriage?
  • Keep in mind that you and your spouse may not agree on what should happen to the house.  If that happens, a judge may decide for you (at least in Arizona).
  •  The net amount you receive from selling a homes may NOT be divided equally - a judge may determine that one person or the other contributed more to the purchase and upkeep, and may award that individual more of the profit.  Don't count on getting half!
  •  If you decide to sell the house, who will decide on the real estate agent to work with?  How will you agree on a listing price?  Who is responsible for keeping the house in show condition? What terms, conditions and price are you willing to accept? 
Refinancing Your Home If You Can't Afford the Mortgage
Property and Debt Division Basic Guideline for Property Division
Property Division  
                                                
   

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Children and Divorce

Divorce can take an unseen toll on children.  While everything may seem calm on the surface, they may be experiencing thoughts and emotions that your children do not share with you.  Here are some great resources to learn more about dealing with children during the divorce process.

Who Gets the Children? Through the Eyes of a Child
Responsibilities of Parents Facts for Families
Helping Your Child Cope Guidelines for Parents
Talking with Children Co-Parenting After Divorce
   
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Sheila Strunk